Full Shill Poker

He might be the Phil Mickelson of poker. Gavin Smith has won millions of dollars playing poker, and lost shitloads of that in prop bets with Joe Sebok. But he has never won a WSOP bracelet. Now he’s the chipleader at the final table of Event #4 - Pot Limit Hold Em, and his first piece of WSOP hardware might be within his grasp.

Gavin’s a great guy and an amazing player and we wish him all the best. After all, we got the chance to play with the Caveman at a charity event last year and found him to be a funny drunk. And that’s all you need in my book.

No, I didn’t win. Yes, I outlasted Gavin. No I didn’t bust him. Yes, it was cool. Yes, I spent the first 3/4 of this post referring to myself in the royal we. My blog, my rules.

Yeah, I know we write that every year, but until somebody has the audacity to win a bracelet in an event they enter on their 21st birthday, or they lower the legal gambling age in Nevada, or move the WSOP offshore, this one’s probably gonna stand. Steve Billrakis at the ripe old age of 21 yrs. 10 friggin’ days grabbed his first WSOP bracelet this week. He took down Event #1, a $5,000 buy-in Mixed Limit/No Limit event, beating out Greg “FBT” Mueller in the process.

Billrakis is mainly an online player, since HE’S TOO DAMN YOUNG TO HAVE DONE ANYTHING ELSE, and goes by the handle of “MrSmokey1.” Another killer poker player who still gets carded to get into rated-R movies, Steve Paul-Ambrose, was also at the final table. I gotta go take a friggin’ geritol.

That’s the song a lot of gamboolers’ money is singing today, as Neteller has recently announced a deal with the devil, I mean Department of Justice, to return the nearly $55 Million stoled, oops, siezed, from US players’ accounts. Here’s a ridiculously long press release to say essentially the same thing -

The NETELLER Plc Group (LSE: NLR), the independent global online payments business, today announced that it has agreed to a plan for the distribution of funds to its US customers.

NETELLER is continuing to cooperate with the investigation being conducted by the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York (“USAO”), under the advice of its legal advisers and in accordance with court orders in the Isle of Man. The Company is in discussions with the USAO for the purpose of resolving the investigation. The Company has advised the USAO that it will use its best efforts to resolve the investigation no later than 13 July 2007.

On 21 March 2007, the Company announced that it signed agreements with the USAO and Navigant Consulting, Inc. (“Navigant”) with respect to, among other things, developing a plan for the distribution of funds to US customers. Since then, in accordance with the agreements, the Company has worked with the USAO and Navigant to develop the plan. The Distribution Plan is now agreed upon, and the Company anticipates implementing the plan upon the resolution of the investigation.

The agreed Distribution Plan details the process and mechanisms for the return of funds to US customers. US customers will be able to access their NETELLER accounts online for a certain time and make a request for their funds. In accordance with NETELLER’s Terms of Use, no interest on account balances will be paid. NETELLER will not charge fees to customers to process requests for funds. Funds will be distributed either by electronic transfer to the bank account on record with NETELLER or by a cheque to be sent to a mailing address as confirmed by the customer. If a US customer has a bank account already registered with NETELLER, funds transfer will be by electronic transfer subject to confirmation by the customer that the registered bank account remains valid. US customers will receive the entire balance of funds in their account; no requests for partial payments will be processed. US customers cannot use their accounts for any transaction other than to request the funds.

Further information will be communicated to NETELLER’s US customers via email, through our website and through a press release once the date for implementation of the Distribution Plan is finalised.

Ron Martin, Group President and CEO said: “The agreement on the Distribution Plan represents a milestone in our cooperation with the US authorities. While we are disappointed not to have been able to return funds to our US customers at this point, we believe that the steps we have made in our discussions are significant and we hope to be able to announce further progress with the USAO by 13 July 2007.”

The Company continues to work with Navigant to produce a report to the USAO on the Company’s current financial condition. On 8 February 2007, the Company informed the market that approximately US$ 55 million had been seized by the USAO or otherwise restricted by third parties. After ongoing consultation with the USAO, the Company currently believes this amount could be up to approximately US$ 60 million.

The Company’s shares continue to be suspended from trading on AIM in view of the continuing uncertainties the Company faces although the Company is making progress towards achieving restoration of trading. The Company is also working towards the finalisation of its audited annual results for the year ended 31 December 2006 and will announce the date on which these will be published to the market in due course. NETELLER customers not resident in the US continue to be minimally affected by the withdrawal from the US market.

Further information is available on the Group’s website in the form of updated FAQs.

So in a “News of the Fucking Stupid” moment, Harrah’s has decided that people who spend a shitpot full of money at -EV games and occasionally get lucky are no longer welcome at their properties.

Here’s the story, from the Lion’s mouth -

Richard Brodie (made a shitpot full of money by creating the red squiggle under misspelled words in Microsoft Word) plays a fuckton of video poker at Caesar’s for a fuckton of money. He actually manages to hit a couple times, to put him well in the black for the year, and Harrah’s decides that he is no longer welcome at any of their properties in Nevada or California.

Yeah - because this dude was willing to bet stupid money on games where the house has a defined mathematical edge and managed to get lucky a couple of times, Harrah’s has banned him from the casino. This not only holds true for Caesar’s, but now Brodie is also barred from taking part in the World Series of Poker, being held at the Rio, a Harrah’s property.

Brodie didn’t cheat, he didn’t angle-shoot, he didn’t try to game the system. If he’s guilty of anything, it’s writing too often about fish dinners and playing stupid -EV games at too great a level to impress young hotties. But really, what balding bajillionaire wouldn’t do that?

Nice frickin’ move, Harrah’s.

So a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, like last year, a bunch of poker pros took exception to the release that the World Poker Tour requires that people sign when they enter their tournaments and sued the WPT over it. Then they filed for a motion of summary judgment, as is not uncommon in civil suits. a motion of summary judgment would have ended the case before it actually came to trial, and this one would have ended in favor of the pros suing the WPT. Well, the judge said “not so fast, folks,” and now there’s gonna be a trial. Here’s the press release -

In the antitrust lawsuit brought against WPT Enterprises, Inc. (NASDAQ:WPTE) by seven professional poker players, United States District Judge Otis D. Wright II denied the Motion for Summary Judgment filed on March 14, 2007, by plaintiffs Chris Ferguson, Andrew Bloch, Annie Duke, Joseph Hachem, Phil Gordon, Howard Lederer, and Greg Raymer. WPTE filed an Opposition to Plaintiffs’ Motion on April 12, 2007, to which the plaintiffs filed a Reply Brief. After review of the parties’ submissions, as well as the arguments advanced by counsel at a hearing on May 14, the court on May 22nd denied the plaintiffs’ Motion for Summary Judgment.

“We are very pleased with Judge Wright’s order denying the Motion for Summary Judgment,” said WPTE’s General Counsel, Adam Pliska. “We feel that this decision confirms our contention that this case is without merit.”

WPTE has engaged the law firms of Gibson, Dunn and Crutcher and Brownstein, Hyatt and Farber in connection with this case.

Well, it looks like we might not have been quite warranted in our doomsaying earlier. I, among others, wondered what would happen to the WSOP fields in the wake of the UIGEA passing and Harrah’s decision to actually enforce their three-year-old policy of not accepting third-party registrations.

Well shit, Chicken Little, what’s that above us? Looks like sky, and with nearly 3,000 players taking the field yesterday in the $1,500 NLHE event at the Rio, it might even stay there. For the second year in a row, this first low buy-in open event has shattered the record for largest field of any WSOP tournament that isn’t a Main Event. So far a bunch of big-time pros have already hit the rail, including World Champions Phil Hellmuth and Chris “Jesus” Ferguson. Other notable bustouts are Annie Duke, John Juanda, Daniel Negreanu and Gavin Smith.

Go to PokerWorks and PokerNews for all the best in WSOP coverage. Come here for random other shit.

Looks like those pre-sales for used WSOP Poker Peek decks might not be quite so used as folks once thought. According to Craig over at Pokerworks, the reviews from players are less than stellar, getting shite reviews from everyone from satellite players to WSOP Main Event Champ Greg Raymer.

Check out the excellent article by CC at Pokerworks on all the issues with the decks, including tiny suits making boards unreadable, shitty design making it hard to tell between a 6 and a 9, and an off-center back design where they can’t even spell the name of the WSOP commissioner right!

GG US Playing Card Co. Well done, sirs.