Change100 is reporting that Full Tilt and Pokerstars will be cranking up their WSOP satellites later this week or early next week, hoping to continue to flood the field with lousy players, despite their inability to accept advertising from sites that allow US players. But you can still wear your ugly .net hats!
After a brief but enjoyable run at Pokerworks, the blogfather, Iggy, is moving back into his old digs at Guinness and Poker. His uber-posts will be Guinness-fueled once again at his old stomping grounds.
Real journalists do research. Fuckers like me link to them.
From PokerNews.com, a real journalist (Amy Calistri) reports -
When we contacted Gary Thompson, Director of the World Series of Poker Tournament Operations and Communications, he had the following comments relative to the recent Harrah’s related forum fodder.
“As a gaming company licensed in more than a dozen jurisdictions in the United States and abroad, Harrah’s must follow the guidance of federal law and state gaming regulations in conducting its business. In this regard, the 2007 World Series of Poker venue will not contain advertising from dot.com sties that allow access to US residents nor ads from dot.net sites affiliated with those entities. Harrah’s position does not affect advertising that may or may not be carried out by media companies that cover the event, as they aren’t subject to the same gaming-regulatory requirements as Harrah’s. Nor does our position impact players. In fact, we expect to post the 2007 WSOP rules and registration procedures on worldseriesofpoker.com next week that will contain a new logo policy allowing players to wear apparel with dot.net logos as well as multiple and larger logos.
As far as the felts, I have seen blogs and forum threads speculating about who may or may not have sought advertising rights to the WSOP. Harrah’s has a long-standing policy of not commenting on rumors or speculation. If we do enter into any business agreement with another company, we’ll make a public announcement at the appropriate time.”
So you can still wear your stupid hat with the dot net logo on it at the WSOP 2007. Once you clean out enough quarters from behind the seat cushions to buy your way in.
Doyle’s Room is the latest in the string of online poker sites to shut off US players in the wake of the UIGEA legislation. As of March 1, Doyle’s Room will join the rest of the Tribeca Tables network in no longer allowing US players to to make real money wagers or deposits into the site. So one more time, you’ve been Frist-fucked.
Doyle’s Room is reportedly working a deal to transfer palyers’ funds to Full Tilt, since there really aren’t many ways to get your money off of poker sites lately. They’ll also transfer your Action Points into Full Tilt points, so you can get a different T-shirt!
So here’s the deal. I see that a lot of people find this site looking for information on Neteller, and how to get your money from Neteller, and if you’re fucked because Neteller has your money, and neteller withdrawal problems and all those other search terms. So lemme boil it down for you.
1) If you still have money in Neteller, it’s safe. Like the kinda buried in your backyard in a Mason jar like a toothless hillbilly safe. You may as well forget where you buried the jar, because you can’t get to in right now, but eventually you will. Neteller is not going to steal your money. Eventually they will figure out a way to get your money to you.
2) If you have a withdrawal in your Neteller account marked “pending,” you’re fucked. You’re fucked like a coed after winning the Florida Crisco Twister Championships for 2006. You’re fucked like the girl in the donkey show in Tijuana that you always thought was a myth. Plan on walking bowlegged for a while, because the US gubmint has done took yo’ money. You might be able to get it back someday, but I might slip on a tutu and dance fucking Swan Lake first.
3) If you’ve got cash on poker sites that you deposited via Neteller, you’re at the mercy of the sites. You might be able to cash out, you might not. You might find someone willing to Paypal you real money in exchange for the play money you have on the site, but don’t bet the farm on their trustworthiness. You might also just be fucked.
I hope this clears up some confusion.
This probably didn’t make anyone think Frist is a douchebag, but it certainly solidified that opinion in the minds of 220 people in Canada and 30 in the UK who are getting shitcanned by Neteller because of the UIGEA. And as we’ve seen in recent fun months, just because you don’t work for the company anymore doesn’t mean that an intrusive foreign government can’t throw your ass in jail when you come visit Aunt Ethel in the US! Hope none of those 250 poor bastards have to change planes at JFK anytime soon.
Every once in a while, someone in the blogger world will do something pretty cool, and whip out their real journalist skillz and go to town on one issue or another. And let’s face it, it’s up to the bloggers to do that in the world of poker, since the magazines and major news sources are so tied in to ad revenue from the poker sites that they can’t say shit about anything without getting their pee-pees slapped. And really, who wants a dickwhipping early in the morning?
But anyway - Amy Calistri, in addition to being voted Best Cleavage in Poker and having a cool hat, has gotten together with the Poker Shrink to write a badass series of article over at PokerNews looking into the mystery of the added $2 million in chips in the WSOP Main Event last summer. So go read their update.
Haley is another one of those real journalist types with ethics and stuff. We respect that crap in others, just don’t really have a whole lot of it ourselves. I’ve frequently found that high moral standards just don’t get you the hookers and blow like I’m into. So I have ethics vicariously through others. Haley has spent a while looking into the question of the WSOP.com website and why it has little or nothing to do with the World Series of Poker, and she’s come up with a tangled web of deceit, firings, backstabbing and moneygrubbing that totally belongs in Vegas. So go read all her stuff, too!
These are just the latest examples of the kickassery that goes on in the poker blogging world. You and I both know that you can’t get shit for real news outta Cardplayer, and Bluff’s opinions are edited (or else!), so you gotta count on the freelancers to lay it out there for ya, gonzo-style. Now these three folks ain’t exactly the heir apparent to Hunter S. Thompson, but they are some fine Woodstein-style journalists, so go show ‘em the love.
One of those headlines is true at least. Doyle Brunson was not arrested yesterday, or any time in recent history. The rumor that we reported yesterday was a rumor was, in fact, a rumor. Doyle Brunson has not been arrested.
There is also no reason to suspect Doyle of being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby Daniel, either. But Dan, on the other hand…
Why else would she name the little anklebiter Daniel. Fess up, buddy. What else did you end up with around your neck after digging in a garbage bin?
UPDATE - Danielina - whatever. Some people and their real journalistic skillz. 
This is a rumor, and I have bupkis to substantiate it, but there is a rumor going around a couple of forums that Doyle Brunson, 10-time WSOP bracelet winner and proud papa of Super System 1 & 2, has been arrested.
No clue what for or if it’s true. If this is related to his sponsorship of Doyle’s Room, the online poker site that bears his name, this could be either the action that spurs the poker world to wake up and smell the coffee about the UIGEA and its enforcement, or the final nail in the coffin of online poker in the US.
Neteller announced today that the US Attorney’s Office has seized money in transit from Neteller to US customers, and that a special CSI:Money team has been brought in to examine the books.
Go here to read the release. Bill Rini posted it first because he’s a badass.
What does it mean? Short form, you’re fucked. The government has seized the money you earned by doing something they consider illegal. Just like they seize drug dealer’s Hummers, they’ve swiped your cash. You might get it back, but I wouldn’t advise holding your breath.
If you’ve got Neteller money that wasn’t gambling-related, the forensic accounting folks might find it and you might get that back. If the government is feeling generous.
Yep, you’re fucked. I would be too, if I weren’t such a big loser at online poker.
Oh, the other thing that forensic accounting firm will probably do? Turn a bunch of records over to the IRS. You did report all your online winnings, right?